Yuka's Secret
by classicdisney4thewin
Summary: The incredibly strange and bizarre twist ending to Elfen Lied. If you hate Yuka you'll most likely enjoy this story (crap I just realized I've been spelling Kohta wrong :/ )


**I really really really really really really really really really really REALLY can't stand Yuka! She and dickhead Bando are the only two characters I've hated in this series. So I decided to write a funny little oneshot about a secret Yuka's kept from Kouda for 8 years. I'm currently writing Pokemon, Child's Play, Disney, and Sonic the Hedgehog fanfictions, but once I'm finished writing one of those I will start brainstorming a good Elfen Lied fic with multiple chapters. I own nothing. This fic is all in Yuka's point of view.**

**Elfen Lied the last episode, Yuka's P.O.V**

I gasped at the sight of the clock as it began to tick.

"It's working"

Nana, Mayu, and I peeped over at Kouda who was lost in thought.

"Kouda quit daydreaming and answer the damn door!" I snapped.

He sighed and approached the front gate letting the guest in. I prayed to god it wasn't Nyu.

"Excuse me for a second I'm going to go see who it is"

"It's all right Yuka", Mayu interrupted, "Kouda can take care of it"

"Nonsense" I replied sternly, rushing out of the house to join his side.

Kouda opened the door and I sighed in relief. The girl had her back turned to us. She had short choppy brown hair that touched her shoulders.

_Thank god it isn't Nyu, what a relief_

"Can I help you?" Kouda asked as the girl turned around with sparkling brown eyes.

"Kouda"

I gasped in horror. The girl was wearing the same clothes Nyu had worn before she left…or at least I hoped died. But it WAS Nyu! Nyu god dammit! Now that bitch is going to ruin my relationship with Kouda!

"Nyu? Is that you?"

Nyu was talking in that same dark voice the day I made out with Kouda, but she had the same resemblance as Nyu, she still looked innocent as always.

"Kouda! I'm so sorry" she cried throwing her arms around my cousin/ boyfriend/ bitch.

"Oh Nyu, I thought you were gone!" he cried

"Kouda you don't have to call me Nyu anymore"

"Huh?"

"My real name is Lucy"

I was frozen in a state of shock. I could feel my mind going numb. But it all made sense now.

"No…that can't be that's impossible"

"What?" Kouda asked as Lucy let go of him and stared at me.

"I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET RID OF YOU!" I hissed and punched Lucy in the stomach, sending her flying back.

"YUKA HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?!" Kouda screamed as he held my arms back, "Lucy get out of here! I'm really sorry but now is obviously not a good time to visit!"

Lucy got back to her feet and charged after me. I gave the bitch a sly smile and kicked her across the head. She flew past the house and landed in the top of a tree.

"WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Kouda screamed in agony, "STOP IT RIGHT NOW YUKA STOP IT!"

Mayu's puppy began to bark. I turned around still in Kouda's grip and watched Mayu and Nana approach us.

"Kouda! Yuka! What's going on?!" Mayu cried.

Nana was focused on me as I continued to struggle. Her eyes shot open as she grabbed Mayu's arm and led her back toward the house

"Kouda get away from her now!" Nana screamed.

"What are you talking about?

Nana's eyes lit up in fury as she stared directly into my soul. I could feel that invisible grip strangle my neck. It threw me back into the corner and pinned me against the ground. The demon inside of me was about to be unleashed. The grip grew tighter and tighter around my neck. My vision blurred as I could hear Nana explaining something to Kouda.

_Shit, they figured it out._

**8 years ago.**

I heard it. The musicbox, coming from deep inside the forest. Kouda and I had gotten separated and I was destined to find him. I followed the noise of that disgusting, bland tune and found him looking at a girl with short pink hair, a white blouse, a small red skirt, and...oh no…_horns_.

"You like it?"

"What?"

"Why else would you be staring?" he asked closing the box shut.

"I just thought…I just thought it was a pretty song that's all"

_Eww how can she possibly like that stupid song. Why would Kouda waste money on garbage like that?! At least Kanae and I have the same taste in good music._

"Are those growing out of your head?!" he asked referring to her horns.

"I'm sure you think my horns are disgusting don't you!" the pink haired bitch snapped covering them up.

_This is perfect! Kouda doesn't have a chance with that girl! Not like he does with me, we're so perfect for each other!_

"That's cool!"

_WHAT?!_

"They're so cool!" he yelled grabbing the girl by the shoulders.

_Kouda never does that to me!_

I felt the flesh on my face turn red and steaming hot. I wanted to just slit her throat open.

"I'm really jealous"

_No! no! no! NO! He's supposed to be jealous of me! ME ME ME ME ME__** ME!**_

To my relief the girl frowned and pushed my Kouda away.

"You're jealous?! You have no idea how much trouble these horns have caused me!"

"I'm not sure what you mean but I don't think I've ever seen anything that cool! I'm not kidding I think they're great!"

I cheered inside my mind as I watched the girl walk away.

"Leave me alone you're not funny!"

_What an attitude! There's no way Kouda could fall for a girl as rude as her!_

"Hey what do you think do you want to be friends?"

My heart sank as I glared at the two of them.

"I'm staying with my relatives for the summer so I won't be here long, but while I'm still in town we should hang out and play together how 'bout it?"

_Kouda is supposed to play with me!_

I could feel something change within me, something was not right but I had to let my anger out somehow. I controlled my temper as best as I could. The strange vibration within me disappeared. I sighed and crouched back down to spy on Kouda some more.

"You must be joking!"

"Huh? Why's that?"

"It's because I hate all of you"

"You hate all of us?" he said to himself as the girl walked away. Kouda gasped, "Hey hold on! Listen my name is Kouda! Same time tomorrow I'll be waiting for you!"

_No! This can't be happening!_

I looked down at a puddle of water and pulled my wig up revealing two horns.

"If only Kouda could see how amazing my horns are, he'd forget all about her and fall in love with me I just know it"

"Yuka?" he called out, "Yuka where are you we better head home.

I put the wig back on and dashed into Kouda's arms.

"Yuka calm down I haven't been gone for long"

"Kouda you like me right?" I asked with fake tears streaming down my eyes.

"Yeah, you're my cousin, why wouldn't I"

"Cousins promise things to each other right?"

"Of course"

"Will you promise me that we'll go to the festival the day before you leave? It'll be just the two of us"

Kouda turned around and scanned the area. He was still thinking about that pink haired bitch.

"Kouda will you promise me? I'm your cousin after all"

"Would you mind if I brought someone with me?"

I looked down very shyly and gently kicked the dirt.

"But Kouda you know how I am about meeting new people right?"

"Yeah, you can be real shy I know"

I grabbed his hands and kissed his cheek passionately. Kouda stared at me with a shocked expression and small pupils.

"Yu-Yuka?"

"Then promise me we'll go to the festival…just the two of us"

"Why'd you ki-"

"Oh where are my manners!" I giggled fanning myself, "Kanae is invited too alright?"

Kouda slowly smiled and nodded.

"All right, if it'll make you feel any better I promise"

I grabbed his hand and the two of us walked down through the forest. I wanted to get closer to him, I never wanted us to part. I wanted him to have my future children. True he's my cousin but I didn't really give a fuck. All I want to do in life is boss his ass around day and night.

The afternoon before the festival Kouda, Kanae, and I played catch in the same forest where he had met that stupid girl. I tried to keep him as occupied as possible, hoping he would not run into her again. The three of us played a fun game of monkey in the middle. Kouda and I tossed the ball back and forth, gazing into eachother's eyes while Kanae pouted each time the ball flew over her. We couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey this isn't fair! Your way taller than me! Yuka why don't you be in the middle!"  
I glared at that little brat.

"Why don't you shut up and keep playing the game"

I often called Kanae a spoiled, whiny little brat just to please Kouda, although sometimes he'd give me a shameful look each time little Kanae ran back to my uncle, crying heavily. I threw the ball back to Kouda as it sailed high over his head.

_Oh no! What if she's there! Then Kouda might break that promise._

"I'll get it!" I shouted and ran past Kouda and Kanae. I found the ball inside the brush where I stalked Kouda and the pink haired bitch who was unfortanatley still there. She stared at a bunch of dumb old rocks and began talking to herself. She was dressed the same except for that violet beanie hat I gave to Kouda as a Christmas present.

_She is so dead! The bitch must've stolen it!_

I felt it again, that strange vibrating sensation running down my back. It made my spine chill. I controlled my temper and the feeling disappeared once again.

"I know my time with you is going to be the only happy memory I have to show in my whole life"

I rolled my eyes, knowing she was referring to my boyfriend.

"But then, if I see him, I'm going to be honest and tell him how I really feel"

_That's it! Its Kouda's last day in town! She must be following him to the festival, what a creepy stalker!_

I smirked, thinking of a devilish plan to get rid of her once and for all.

The festival finally came, and I clung onto Kouda for dear life, I loved him like I've never loved anyone before. I looked all around trying to see if the pink haired girl was anywhere. Wouldn't it be a relief if she didn't show up! We stopped at a booth and did a fun activity, just the two of us! I picked up the small pointy stick and began carving out the chick. The piece cracked and I began to throw a fit.

"Oh no it cracked!"

"Wow you suck at this" Kouda observed from the sidelines.

"Yeah let me see you do it!"

"Ok!"

He carved a perfect cat at an incredibly fast pace. I stared at him in disbelief.

"Wow it's so good, it's perfect"

"Big deal! Anybody could do it!"

I picked out another chick and tried to carve it perfectly.

"It cracked again!"

"You're such a spazz. Get it right once and I'll do whatever you tell me to do"

My heart skipped a note and my face lit up. I gave my cousin a flirty look and poked his cheek teasingly. I wanted that pink haired bitch to see this, real true love with a perfect girl!

"Don' act like you're so cool! Just you wait! Next year I'll be able to do it no problem then you'll see!"

"Well keep practicing and we'll see what happens"

"And whenever I get it you better believe I'll make you do whatever I say! I'm serious!"

"Don't worry I'll remember!"

_Finally all mine, Kouda will be ALL MINE AND NO ONE CAN TAKE HIM FROM ME OR BY GOD I'LL RIP THEIR LIMBS APART ONE BY ONE_

I turned my head and widened my eyes. The pink haired girl was wandering around the streets looking for Kouda. Time to play my game. I streamed fake tears from my eyes and put on my cutesy innocent mask. I turned around and wrapped my arms around Kouda pretending to cry. I could sense the pink haired girl eyeing me.

"No no!" I whined.

"Stop being dumb people can see us!"

"But we won't be able to see each other for so long! Not until next summer" I bawled and covered my eyes. Just as my plan worked Kouda patted my shoulder and comforted me. I grew an evil devilish smile and silently laughed to myself. I looked up and noticed the girl on the ground where she rightfully belonged.

**End of flashback**

"Kouda has Yuka ever acted strange?" Nana asked as I came back into reality, my vision instantly cleared.

"What are you saying?"

"Let me explain things" I interrupted.

I reached my arm out and pulled my brunette wig off. Kouda gasped at the sight of my glamorous light pink hair and my stylish horns.

"Well Kouda? Do you like them?"

"Yuka?!"

"I knew it she was a diclonious this whole time!" Nana accused. I launched my vectors at Nana and threw her against the gate. I took my contacts out to reveal my sparkling magenta pink eyes.

"Yuka what the fuck is this?!" Kouda exclaimed.

"All these years I was the one who kept that bitch away from you. You deserved all that sadness not me."

"YOU BITCH!" Kouda strangled me as I tossed and turned. Lucy approached Kouda and pulled him away from me.

"Lucy be careful!" Kouda warned.

Lucy gave him a light peck on the lips and turned to face me. I rose high into the air with a devilish look upon my face.

"NO ONE CAN HAVE HIM! NOW DIE BITCH!" I slammed my two vectors against the pavement when suddenly my boyfriend pushed Lucy aside and missed the hit. He fell to his feet and scraped the side of his face.

"I'm so confused Yuka…why are you all of a sudden like this?"

"Because my character was completely useless throughout the entire series so the author decided to throw in this dumbass twist ending to make me seem more enthralling"

"But you're such a bitch now, you're hurting all my friends"

"She hasn't changed Kouda" Lucy interrupted helping him up, "Remember all those times she hit you, slapped you, just for getting to close to me when really it was my fault. Remember all those times she's been hovering around you scene after scene, not helping in any situation. All those times she whined in your face and called you a jerk? I'd almost say her character is a Mary Sue"  
"DON'T CALL ME A MARY SUE YOU FUCKING CU-"

A loud gunshot was heard from behind as Yuka fell to the floor and bled. Everyone was shocked to see who was holding the gun.

"Mayu?" Nyu, Nana, and Kouda gasped.

"I borrowed it from Bando, I hope I did the right thing though I mean she tried to kill you all"

"You know I'm glad she's gone from this manga, she really was a meanie" Nana added.

"Hey yeah your kinda right" Kouda laughed.

"I'm not a cannibal or anything but does anyone feel like eating her for dinner?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah! Screw Noodles let's eat Yuka!" Nana squealed as everyone cheered and laughed.

Morgan Freeman began narrating the rest of the fantastic ending to Elfen Lied. The group sat down at the table and began munching on Yuka's flesh.

"And so Nana, Mayu, Kouda, and Lucy feasted on Yuka's dead body. They even invited old friends of theirs who hated that dumb bitch to join in on the celebration. They decapitated her head and stuck it on a pole where they posted it outside the restaurant. They never got arrested for murder since it was Yuka. After the feast they sat by a campfire and roasted her organs, talking about fond memories and letting their troubles fade away. The group even forgot they were eating Yuka. Even little Wanta was chewing on her remaining flesh attached to her bones. In the end Nana and Mayu became the best of friends, Lucy and Kouda grew to become an official couple, and no one remembered that punk ass bitch ever again."

**Das Ende**

"Nah, too creepy!"

Lynn Okamoto (author of Elfen Lied) crumbled up pieces of paper and threw it away in the waste basket.

"What's a good way to end the series…I know! I'll piss off my fans by not even revealing who was at the front gate its perfect!"

**I've only seen the anime and not the manga so if I missed a detail or two don't bitch about it in the reviews. If you hate Yuka as well feel free to dance and spit on her grave!**


End file.
